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[May. 13th, 2009|12:02 am] |
I am incapable of unconditional love.
Relationships turn me into this needy demanding monster of a person. I'm always making entries about how much I hate where I am in my life but I never really do much to change my situation and this is really another one of those entries. If Corey weren't moving away in three months time I'm pretty sure we would not be together anymore. No one can live up to these expectations I hold. Love is a fucking waste of time. |
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| hapless days |
[Feb. 17th, 2009|08:18 pm] |
I'm just going to shave my head and hop a train...
become something feral. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2009|02:40 am] |
rest in peace little one. |
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| Here I am Again. |
[Jan. 29th, 2009|12:17 am] |
It pisses me off how you can no longer create a new username without having ads all over your journal. El Jay really is quite the whore these days.
I am so sick of everything in my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2008|12:29 pm] |
In the past few months...
I have been hit by a car
I was given a promise ring (my man is the best)
My dad had open heart surgery
I decided I want to get a cosmetology license
Lolarat had a stroke
Tobi Dawg went deaf
Corey got three ratbabies!
I turned 21
holy moly.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|06:46 pm] |
Ben likes snow.
A lot.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|06:07 pm] |
Last night my father told me not to confuse procastination with fear.
Everything I want to do but don't, want to be come but am not, want to achieve but don't is because I am afraid.
Failure scares me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2008|12:09 am] |
Oh livejournal how I miss you so.
I had to share this video it absolutly made my night.
(Last pitbull video...at least for a while.)
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|01:43 am] |
I'm full of forboding feelings tonight.
I was nervous waiting for Corey to text me when he got home.
I was riding my bike to the park to swing and then I remembered the man that killed the hitch-hikers from the news.
Humans are quite awful creatures sometimes.
Anti Breed Specific Legislation is my new cause.
I also do very much want a pit bull. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2007|12:27 am] |
Dear Mono,
Please stop giving me hives and making my throat swell. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2007|09:09 pm] |
So many things filling my sickly little head.
-Make-up work for French class
-Call my Spanish professor
-My 5hour course expires in December, try to get my license before that happens
-Call the doctors
-Call off from work again this week (they wanted to put me on a SEVEN HOUR SHIFT! With Mono! crazy.)
-Make Miss Tobi-dog an appointment to get un-fluffed
-Get my fingernail fixed (wow what a pain in the ass.)
I guess it really isn't too silly to feel overwhelmed when I have so much to do and such little time to do it in while having a virus that is notorious for taking a month to get over.
Bubblebath time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2007|09:25 am] |
Happy First Day of October.
My favorite month of the whole year.
I have been working and working. My favorite customers are the little old men and women who buy more catfood than food for themselves. I try to put smiles on their faces despite my clumsiness with the bags and the register. I hit my head on a shopping cart yesterday while loading a 12 pack of soda. I smash and pinch my fingers on cans when putting them in bags and I have the awful tendency to fill the bags only half full. People are understanding though when I tell them I am new. People aren't so horrible sometimes.
So it's october. My hair is red and yellow and short. It sticks up in places just the way I like it to. Fall is the season for warm dark colors but I'm stuck in spring tints; light light colors and soft things.
I plan on being rather careless with my first paycheck. The obligation to save my money for college means I have grown up. I want to study abroad and fill my head and tongue with languages and my eyes with art. Someday soon I am going to leave this town. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2007|01:39 am] |
It's fall - chilly nights and mornings but as typical of New York weather, the high temperature for tomorrow is predicted to be 89 degrees.
I began my job training today and am the slightest bit overwhelmed, but I think after a few more days I will get used to it. So many sequences of buttons for so many things.
I'm listening to Norah Jones and looking up low-cal pumpkin recipes. I want muffins and lattes and warm things for the coming cold days. I can't wait to kick up the leaves on the sidewalk and to be able to smell them
And when it gets bitterly cold I have this lovely boy to keep me warm.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2007|11:23 am] |
Today is windy and cool and lovely. Fall is coming and I would very much like a pumpkin spice cappuccino.
I managed to have found myself a job. I will be working as a cashier for a local supermarket that I have been giving applications to for the past year. I managed to have found myself a lovely boy and life seems to be coming together quite nicely.
We talked about how it feels to be waiting for everything to fall apart. But when we wait we miss out on how good life can be to us. So I'm not wasting precious time on dreading what may or may not happen. I am happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2007|11:33 pm] |
Such wonderful things have been happening lately. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2007|02:34 pm] |
Classes again - my summer is over.
Too many good things are happening to miss it.
I'm going to take the blue jay feather that I found today as a sign from the universe that things are ok instead of being foolish and sad over what someone told me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|01:40 am] |
I think the crows in this town are all moulting. I found these three feathers today in seperate locations. They're huge and inky and I love them.
I caught scattered glimpses of the Perseid meteor shower. I like feeling small compared to everything out there. So much more is happening beyond our chaotic little planet. |
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